A Little Bit of This & That

The creativeness of a creative woman

Missing my Beau

When I first saw the Super Bowl Budweiser Ad my thoughts immediately went back to when Beau and Buddy were puppies. I just have Beau now as Buddy is with his “Daddy” (and I do miss him very much)…….

When Beau (Golden Retriever) and Buddy (a Blonde Lab Mix) were puppies (they are approx 2 months apart in age) we lived way out in the country up a very long lane. The house was surrounded by fields and pastures of cows. The pups were fascinated with the cows and more often than not I would find them playing happily in the pasture beside the house. So many times they would crawl under the fence and go exploring the area; many times coming home soaking wet from discovering the creek or pond and I imagine having one good ‘ole time splashing and playing in the water. I think I bathed those pups nearly everyday that summer! The Budweiser Ad brought back all those memories.

…….well to say I have Beau really isn’t true anymore. I had to let him go because dogs are not allowed where I currently live. Beau is safe with my son Lee living in Savannah, Georgia. I know Lee is spoiling him rotten! I wouldn’t want it any other way. Lee picked up Beau while he was visiting over Christmas……..I had a very hard time saying goodbye.

The house was crowded and I needed a break from all the activity. I grabbed Beau’s leash, bundled up against the cold and took him for a walk; what would be our last walk together before Lee left to go home. It had snowed so Beau and I trudged through the fluffy whiteness, him stopping to check out a new smell now and then. It was freezing but I didn’t care, it was a time for me and my precious dog to spend quiet moments together. Dog lovers will understand when I say, “he’s a part of the family” “Beau is like one of my children.” ………and Beau is – this dog has been by my side since he was a puppy; he has been my rock during times I felt alone, scared, sad, heartbroken, and during times I have been excited, happy and secure. Beau knew what kind of mood I was in all the time. If I needed a hug it’s like he understood and looked at me with those big brown eyes as though saying, “it’s okay Mom, I’m here to comfort you.” So many times I wrapped my arms around him and he would lay his head on my shoulder, or he would come and sit with me and put his head on my lap. Beau is truly the best dog I have ever had.

So we walked along in the snow, Beau keeping close to me, as though he knew something was different about this particular walk. We circled around from the lake access back toward the backyard and I found a stick poking out of the snow. Beau saw it too and immediately grew excited about playing fetch. I released his leash, threw the stick and Beau happily bounded after it. A deep sadness came over me as I watched my beautiful Golden retrieve the stick and bring it back to me. We played for a little bit and tears ran down my face the entire time.  I wanted time to stand still at that moment and I burned the image into my mind.

The day was so very bittersweet. It was Christmas and all my kids were home for the first time in many years. It was a day of great joy but also one of deep sadness. Lee had to leave that evening and I tried very hard to prepare myself for the goodbyes; but all the preparedness in the world would not ease the pain in my heart. Saying goodbye to Lee and Beau was very hard. I knew Beau would be well taken care of and loved with Lee, but I also knew that the one being that has been my rock would no longer be by my side.

As they pulled out and waved goodbye the tears I tried so hard to keep from falling began to fall uncontrollably. I was standing there alone and my heart was breaking. I think I would have fell to my knees if Ryan (my daughter’s fiance) hadn’t come out and put his arms around me. He held me close and I just kept saying, “it’s too much” – “it’s all too much” – so many things had happened over the last few months and letting Beau go was like losing the last thing that had always held me together. I could feel the void, the emptiness of him no longer by my side.

I know Beau is being spoiled in Savannah; I know he is well taken care of; I know Lee loves having him there and both are happy with each other. I just miss him so much. I will cherish the day I can see him bounding toward me with those big brown eyes, tongue wagging grin, and tail that wags non-stop. Tears will once again fall down my cheeks, but they will be tears of happiness.


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This entry was posted on February 12, 2014 by in Beau, Family, Personal Thoughts.
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